*Pretty Little Liars* Season 7 Episode 13 Recap: The Creepy Board Game Is 100 Percent Alive0 Comments

By admin
Posted on 03 May 2017 at 7:06am

Tonight’s episode of Pretty Little Liars was equal parts shocking, terrifying, and heartbreaking. So let’s just dive in because there’s a lot to cover.

Spencer wakes up to the sound of a baby crying, but it’s not an actual fetus: It’s her cell phone attached to the board game—and it won’t. Stop. Crying. Even when she turns the damn thing off. (This confirms the board game is actually alive.)

“OMG, that is so annoying.” —Hanna on the crying phones.

Alison is missing from this episode, and we don’t know why. They speculate her whereabouts for five seconds before defaulting back to Spencer’s crying cell phone, which suddenly stops crying—but then Hanna’s phone starts crying. “Play with me, Hanna,” it says. So are all of the liars’ phones going to start crying soon?

Catherine (the senator’s daughter) wore Hanna’s dress that she designed under her old boss to a fancy benefit, and it was featured on the front page of a newspaper. It’s exciting and cool, but a blogger calls Hanna out for ripping off the design. Hanna thinks Jenna tipped off the blogger, which is maybe true, maybe not—I don’t care enough to have an actual opinion. But Hanna says some funny one-liners about it. Hanna is afraid her boss is going to sue her, but Creepy Lucas—who, remember, “privately invested” in Hanna’s design career—tells her to calm down.

“You can’t spell ‘anonymous’ without A.D.! Blind item, blind girl: The post probably came from Jenna.” —Hanna.

Toby tells Spencer that Yvonne is out of her coma—great news that gets interrupted by Hot Cop, who invites Spencer on a date. In a later scene, Yvonne wakes up and says Toby’s name, which he takes as an excuse to propose. Dude, the girl just woke up from a coma. Let her catch up on her Shondaland shows first. (Anyway, she says yes, but we all know Toby and Spencer are going to end up together, so this is dumb.)

Meanwhile, Aria sees Nicole on television talking about how happy she is to be with Ezra again. What is happening?! Are Ezra and Nicole getting back together or is this just a classic I. Marlene King fake-out? (Probably the latter, but that’s not stopping me from sweating.)

Hanna gets a creepy message from A.D. telling her to answer her door, and, like clockwork, her door starts banging. And guess what’s there? A terrifying, lifelike Hanna mannequin. The call is coming from inside the house, you guys!

Hanna finally tells Caleb about the living board game and possessed, crying cell phones. He starts fiddling with the mannequin, which comes alive and says, “For more information, see the appendix.” How is A.D. crafting these robots from a shack in Rosewood?

The appendix is actually the mannequin’s stomach, which Hanna has to cut open in order to find A.D.’s next clue. She pulls a “sexy kimono”-type outfit out of a bloody plastic bag that says “Wear me,” which is an issue because she has a meeting the next day with fashion investors from Japan who will obviously be offended if they see her in it. (Yes, A.D.’s latest form of liar sabotage is cultural appropriation.)

“You really thought that was me?” —Hanna to Caleb about the creepy mannequin.

Flash to Spencer and Hot Cop’s date. They’re playing ping pong, which Spencer learned at “horseback riding camp,” but the light moment is interrupted with talk about Mary Drake and the night she was shot. Seriously, can anyone just have a nice, quiet afternoon on Pretty Little Liars?? They kiss—and literally, in the next scene, Toby and Yvonne get married. Again, this is all a ruse!

“We ponged hard.” —Hot Cop. Bye.

Aria and Emily try to track down Sydney, whom they suspect helped Jenna the night Spencer was shot. (To be honest, I forget who Sydney is or why she’s relevant, so let’s just roll with this story.) As it turns out, Sydney is Catherine’s assistant, which all but confirms she was the one who tipped off that gossip blogger about Hanna’s designs. She’s a rat! Trust no one.

“The same girl who accidentally had her phone on airplane mode for half of ninth grade?” —Emily about Aria. (LOL, what?)

Sydney tells Emily that she had nothing to do with the night Spencer was shot, but she’s clearly lying because Aria hacks into her schedule and sees she’s taking Jenna to an eye doctor later that day. Naturally, they follow her to this appointment, where they learn someone is buying Jenna a new pair of eyes. Sydney gives the eye doctor the initials “A.D,” which sends Aria and Emily into a tailspin. Is she A.D.? Is she a pawn? Who the hell knows at this point.

“Do I have to twist your arm again? Answer the freaking question!” —Aria to Sydney.

Sydney says she doesn’t know who A.D. is—she’s just following the orders from an “anonymous donor.” She claims she doesn’t know where Jenna is, either, but Aria drops a mother-effing tracking device into her bag so they can follow her every move. How do these girls just casually have these gadgets?!

“Namaste, bitch.” —Sydney to Aria.

Spencer walks in on Caleb stupidly screwing with the board game. Remember, these two dated last season, so the scene is awkward at first. They start drinking, and Spencer tells Caleb about the date she just had with Hot Cop. Then, a weird gas SHOOTS OUT OF THE BOARD GAME AND POISONS CALEB. Spencer calls the cops. I’m screaming.

Spencer tells Hanna that Caleb is in the hospital, which gets her out of wearing that offensive outfit in front of the Japanese investors. Yvonne and Toby are at the hospital, too, where they muse endlessly about their future plans—but then Yvonne stops talking and her eyes begin to shut. She dies. Spencer finds Toby, and he collapses in her arms. It’s devastating.

Caleb is stabilized at the hospital, which is good news—but the bad news is that A.D is pissed at Hanna for missing the investors meeting. Aria and Emily receive a notification that Sydney is on the move—remember, they’re tracking her—so they leave the hospital.

Aria goes back to Ezra’s apartment, but she’s not alone: Nicole is there. Before we see their conversation, though, we pivot to Hot Cop, who receives a human finger in the mail from a mysterious sender. Pretty Little Liars just took a turn into Saw territory, folks.

Final thoughts:

Honestly, I’m still in shock about everything that just went down. I’m crying, I’m terrified—I’m on edge! Tonight reminded me why I love Pretty Little Liars so much and why I’m going to miss it.

Glamour – Entertainment

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